Half
by Kazuki Naruse
Summary: (Requested by Madin456) He wakes up in the hospital and instantly knows something is wrong. He's missing his other half. Can Haruhi fill that space and put an end to his loneliness? I hope you like it! :)


"HIKARU!" His eyes shot open, scanning the darkness for a brief moment as his screams echoed around the room. A second later, the lights switched on, blinding him. He shut his eyes tight, fighting against the invading white light.

When he opened them, worried faces had appeared before him. Tamaki's lavender eyes were scanning his face. Beside him, Haruhi nervously played with the sleeve of her jacket, her eyebrows knitted together with anxiety. Kyouya stood on the other side, looking as apathetic as always. Beside him stood Mori, silently standing guard with a young blond slumped over his broad shoulders. Honey, who had been fast asleep, stirred and glanced at Kaoru with a sympathetic and rather sad expression on his face.

But the one person Kaoru wanted to see, his other half, was nowhere to be seen. He was not sitting in a chair. He was not standing with the others. He was not waiting outside the door for the perfect opportunity to pop in and scare everyone. He was nowhere. Kaoru couldn't sense Hikaru's presence at all...

The rough linen sheets fell away as Kaoru sat up, still desperately searching the room for his red-headed counterpart. The hospital gown was loose on him, halfheartedly draped over his thin, fragile shoulders.

"Where's Hikaru?" he asked, quickly dismissing his nightmare as just that; a nightmare. There's no way Hikaru could be dead. It's not possible. He would have died alongside his twin; after all, they had never been separated for more than a couple hours.

The faces around him turned away. Tamaki and Haruhi had tears in their eyes, real tears, not the fake tears the host club uses to evoke sympathy from their clients. Kyouya looked uncomfortable, fidgeting ever so slightly where he stood. Honey buried his face in Mori's hair while Mori turned his back to Kaoru, choosing to avoid Kaoru's eyes instead of giving him the answer he was dreading.

The room went ice cold. The temperature seemed to physically drop twenty degrees despite the heater blasting in the background. The faces of the host club members distorted, looking more monstrous than human. They turned into messes of colors, features became unrecognizable. Everyone almost seemed to melt, like a pack of crayons turning into a waxy mess on the floor on a hot summer day.

Everything spun and spun, the room turning into a sinister sped-up version of a Ferris wheel.

Kaoru fell back on the pillows. They suddenly seemed like rocks smashing into his head. The lights looked like the gleam of a blade, ready to stab through his chest. He wished it would. He let his eyes close and sleep take over.

The tension in the room rose with each clink of silverware. All host club activities had been canceled since the hit-and-run accident two months ago, so this was the first time they had all been together.

Unable to deal with the hum of meaningless chatter, Kaoru had taken to eating in the music room; alone. Today, however, was different. Today all the host club members had joined him.

They sat in silence at the long table, each of them forlornly staring at a blank spot on the neon yellow tablecloth. They hadn't done anything more than push food around on their plates. Even Honey had no appetite for the cake in front of him.

It had been Tamaki's idea to eat with him.

'Listen up!' he had said to the host club members, excluding Kaoru who had been in class at the time. His voice had lost all of its usual cheerfulness. It was low and sad. 'We need to rally together for Kaoru. He's going through a lot right now, more than any of us, and we need to be there for him. Tomorrow, we eat in the club room with him.' Everyone had nodded in unison, feeling the same way.

So here they sat, avoiding glancing towards Kaoru at all costs. None of them knew what to say. Hikaru's absence hurt them all, but they knew Kaoru was hurt the most. The twins had never been separated, at least, not that any of them had seen. Half of the ginger pair was missing. That half would never return.

Haruhi glanced up at Kaoru. For a moment, she thought she saw Hikaru, but it was merely because they had the same face. She felt a pain in her chest, but she didn't let it show. She knew Kaoru felt worse than anyone. She had to stay strong for him, to be there when he needed her. She couldn't rely on him when he was the one who hurt the most.

Tension hung thickly in the air. It rested on each of them, weighing down on their shoulders. Nobody dared to break the silence. Nobody dared to get up or even move. Even Kyoya's tactless comments were missing.

Kaoru lifted his head, glancing at each of them. He felt anger bubbling up inside him. He couldn't stand the way they avoided meeting his gaze. As if he was disgusting, something they couldn't bear to see. He loathed the pity they felt for him. He didn't need their pity. It's not like they could ever understand how he felt. It's not like they could ever help him. He wished they would just disappear. If Hikaru was no longer with him, he'd rather be alone.

"Stop it." he muttered softly under his breath. If the room had not been utterly silent, nobody would have heard him. Unfortunately, everybody did.

"What?" Tamaki said, an automated response. Everyone else couldn't decide whether they should watch him or Kaoru, so they just stared somewhere in between.

There was a pause. For a few seconds, silence had returned to the room. Everything was frozen. Time seemed to slow down.

"Stop it!" Kaoru yelled, slamming his hands against the table and letting the chair fall behind him as he stood. "Stop pretending you're all suffering like I am! Stop acting like your there for me! Stop pretending you understand!" His hoarse voice rang through the room. It bounced off the walls and stabbed through the ears of the other host club members.

He stormed out of the room before Tamaki could finish saying "Kaoru?" in a soft, hurt voice. Getting up as hastily as he had, Haruhi ran out of the room after him.

She chased him down the halls, calling "Wait! Kaoru wait!", but that only made him run faster. She kept a safe distance behind him and followed him to the dorms, straight up the stairs to the third floor.

She caught up with him as he turned his key into the lock of his dorm room. He pulled open the door and slid in, ready to slam it shut when Haruhi leaned against it.

Reluctant to hurt her, he stormed to the other end of the room. "Go away, Haruhi." he said, softly at first. When he turned back and saw her still standing in the door way, he yelled, "Go away!"

Instead of complying, she slipped into the room and closed the door behind her, shutting out the light from the hallway. The room was nearly pitch black.

Anger coursed through Kaoru's veins. Why wouldn't she listen to him? Why did she insist on staying here when the only thing he wanted was to be alone?! Why wouldn't she leave him alone?!

Reaching down, he plucked the pillows off his bed. He was half-tempted to throw the tissue box on the bedside table, but he didn't want to hurt her. Despite his anger, he still cared for her.

Spinning around, he blindly threw the pillows in Haruhi's direction. He heard a soft _thud_ as the first one landing on the ground. A _thump_ told him that the second one had hit its target-or the wall. Whichever one, he didn't really care.

"I told you to go away! Leave me alone!" He yelled, his voice cracking at the end. He wished he had something else to throw, some other way to scare her off. He really wanted to be alone, to escape the cruel world and barricade himself within a silent, lonely darkness.

She had had enough. "Just because you're hurting doesn't mean you have the right to treat people that way!" she yelled back, clenching her fists at her side. "We're all hurting; and our pain isn't any less significant than yours, even if we weren't as close to Hikaru as you were!" Her voice softened a bit. "I know you're in pain. I've lost important people in my life too." She paused, waiting to see if he would react. When he didn't say anything, she added, "You're not alone Kaoru, even if you feel that way." Her tone was reassuring, yet forceful. She watched him in the dim light.

There was a long pause. She saw him shift uncomfortably for a few seconds.

"You're right; I'm sorry." he muttered in a low, pained voice. He truly did feel remorseful. She was only trying to help. She didn't deserve that. Still, he wished she would leave. He wanted to be alone, to lie in bed like he did every day. He didn't want to talk to anyone, to have to deal with any of their pity. He let himself fall on the bed, propping his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands. He felt himself teetering on the edge of despair.

She walked past the pillows on the floor and sat down beside him.

She wrapped her thin, warm fingers around his cold, shaking palm and squeezed, leaning towards him. He didn't resist. He didn't pull away like he did with the others. He didn't yell.

All the anger that had gathered inside him drained away. Unable to hold back any longer, he collapsed against her, burying his face in her shoulder. She could feel his tears soaking through the sleeve of her shirt. His shoulders shook with each wracking sob.

She didn't say anything. She didn't try to comfort him, to stop his tears because she knew; she understood. She knew how it felt to lose someone close to you. She knew that he needed to let it out; and he finally did. She understood that the best thing she could do was be there for him, like a silent rock.

Silence slowly returned to the room. It sunk into the darkness, settling slowly over the two. Neither knew how long they sat there. Neither knew what to say.

Reaching up to wipe his dripping nose, Kaoru sat up. He looked down at his bare feet, his vision still a little blurred. With a loud sniffle, he turned away, embarrassed.

He tried to pull his hand away, but Haruhi held on, glancing at him. She leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He sniffled again and reached for a box of tissues on his nightstand with his free hand, loudly blowing his nose. That was the only sound in the room, soon leaving an awkward silence in its wake.

And yet...

Something was different. The tension in the room had disappeared. His tears had washed away some of the pain he had kept bottled up inside. It had taken away the anger he held against everyone, against the world.

Despite having a pounding headache, Kaoru felt better. He still missed his other half, but that empty hole had been filled up, at least a little bit. He knew he was no longer alone. He knew she would always be there beside him.

For the first time in months, he allowed himself to smile a little as he kissed her forehead, a silent thank you to the only person he felt close to.


End file.
